Weazl's Gone Krazy

Well, what can you say? For whatever reason, weazl readers haven't been as numerous as normal, so instead of providing more of the same, weazl decided to give the remaining readers a real reason to run away. This will definitely not be your normal political post, but is something that despite the myriad of writings that weazl has done over the years is the one that weazl is most proud of. Shocking, crude, arguably pornographic, weazl's story, written over a decade ago, represents weazl's attempt to get into the mind and world of someone very different than himself. And given that weazl is comfortably ensconced with marvelous mate, weazl loses nothing by revealing his lunacy. Hope you enjoy a bit of creative writing. It will be a marked difference from normal wailing against the government, its warmongers and the enablers who assist them. Cheers.

hi there how are you doing great glad to hear it so weve had unbelievable weather lately hunh can you believe it its indian summer cant last long though it just cant i mean its like in the high seventies and its almost november well you can be sure that this will be the last weekend like this we wont have another weekend like this one until march no way you just wait and see ill betcha next weekend itll be snowing swear to god wouldnt surprise me a bit last year at this time there was a foot of snow a foot right on halloween god that was bad its tough to go trick or treating with a foot of snow falling on the ground thats too bad i mean for the kids ya know god the kids i remember when i was a kid those were the great days just great playing all of the time no job no responsibilities and whenever it snowed real bad how great it was to find out that school was shut down unbelievable simply unbelievable did you have a good childhood yeah i bet you did mommys little girl do you have any brothers and sisters no brothers and two sisters wow i wonder that your dad thought about that i think men always feel a little strange when they dont have any boys thats great that your dad was so good because its amazing all of the women who ive known who have had some really bad problems it always seemed that the problems were because of their relationship with their dads its like there should be some test or something to allow men to raise little girls im serious men should never talk about how much of a hard time some woman is giving them because more times than not those problems were the result of some other man im serious thats good that your father was so good to you and to your two sisters so kids what about kids so you like kids yeah but would you want to have kids thats what they all say in a few years you work dont you i thought so what do you do a manager at a bank a career woman when do you think that youll find time to have children i cant imagine that any time will ever be better than any other and before you know it poof all of thats behind you youre not married are you i didnt think so no ring do you have a serious boyfriend im not trying to get personal iwas just asking i hope you dont think that im prying thats amazing i cant believe that you dont have a boyfriend i cant imagine that any one would ever let you go wow i dont believe it did you just break up from a relationship somehow i suspected that it just didnt seem possible that there would be too much time between the time it would take you to find someone well i mean you have everything going for you youre great looking no im serious im not just saying that i mean its true you know its true cmon i know that youve been told that so many times that its probably unbelievable youre a professional woman and youve got a great attitude i mean youve got to have a great attitude sitting here talking to a bozo like me no i am a bozo a real bozo god ive done some stupid things just some unbelievably stupid things but hey we all make mistakes weve all got to bear our own crosses ive got mine and im sure that youve got yours what do i do i work as a caretaker in a few houses ya know sometimes i do small plumbing stuff or i gotta go check the thermostat ya know small odds and ends stuff like that i also work part time at a restaurant ya know cleaning dishes no im not married i dont think im ever getting married well i just dont think women are going to be into a guy like me i mean it would take a very special kind of woman to be into a guy like me and ya know i havent found her yet i dont even know if shes out there i doubt it aw your just trying to be nice and appreciate it but i just dont think that its gonna happen yeah i do love kids but maybe ill adopt kids yeah it would be nice to have my own kids but unfortunately i cant have kids well whew i was younger i had an accident and i cant have kids well its a strange kind of accident in a way not really an accident like i told you i did some really stupid things when i was younger well i really ont think that you want to hear it i mean youre gonna think that im crazy and hell i was but its so unbelievable that youre gonna probably get up and leave and that would make me feel bad because youre really nice and its nice talking to you yeah you say that now thats what they all say but if i told you what it was i guarantee that youd want to get up and leave look i dont you to make any promises because hey if the shoe were on the other foot hell id probably get and leave too wow i cant believe you really want to hear what happened geez no wonder you do well in business youve certainly got alotta confidence well ill tell you and i know youre gonna think im a freak but what the hell but anyway i was in my early twenties ya know right when a guy is supposed to be having some of the most fun in his life with the girls and all and hey i held my own with the ladies but anyway i had this real strange attitude about sex i mean i hated it in a way i dont know how to explain it because on one hand i needed it and i went after it like everybody else but i dont know how to explain it its really weird but whenever i finished doing it id hit myself in the face or id try to punch myself there were even times where id take a glass bottle break it and cut myself across my chest its weird i know but i felt like it was just so disgusting taking myself and going into that hole it sounds weird but it seemed so foul you know youd take out your thing and it would be covered with all this slime and you wouldnt want to touch it but it was like yours and so you hadda touch it sometimes but every time id hate myself for having spent all this time just to end up with my thing stinking and slimy and my stomach bout to heave and all i wanted to do was to hurt myself i would just hafta get outta wherever i was as soon as i could but once i got outside all i wanted to do was to hurt myself one time i left his girls house and just ran into a wall with my head and knocked myself out im serious i dont know why yeah they were clean most of them were normal chicks i have no idea im telling you our guess is as good as mine but anyways all this time i hated myself for doing it it made me sick and all but i needed it i mean i really needed it its like all i thought about all day and i mean it was getting to the point where id go sneak into the bathroom and jerk off a coupla times a day at work excuse me but its true and even then i felt disgusted i mean i got so fucking mad at the idea that i was like a slave i mean i was like a slave to my dick i mean whenever any decent looking girl passed me all i could think about was fucking her and i also remembered feeling sick even with the chicks standing right in front of my face and my having spent all my time dreaming about them thinking about them i mean i was no better than a fucking slave when anyway while this is going on im just getting more and more down on myself im like starting to hate myself for real you know im even thinking about suicide yeah man i was really fucked up at the time i started staying away from all of the good chicks like i didnt want to see em you know didnt want to spend time with em didnt want to sit in some goddamn restaurant and talk about who the hell cares you know what i mean i was sick of the whole shit then just to go back to their house for a goodbye kiss or a make out time or even a lay where i get up and have all this gook over me and this girl is staring at me with those moon sized eyes thinking that maybe were gonna get married or something while im wondering if theres any draino in the bathroom tasting those salty crystalized rocks burning down my throat as my head starts getting oozy my stomach starts contracting and i lay down in a fetal position waiting for the big sleep while im twisting and turning in pain on the floor im sorry im getting a little carried away here i told you im crazy do you still want me to go on are you sure i mean i can stop its no big deal i dont see how you really want to hear this stuff okay but anyway after i got tired of hanging with the good girls i started hanging with the bad girls you know the professionals because it was like at least i didnt have to talk to em or spend time with em or do anything with em sure it was still just as grimy after i finished but like i told you i needed it so bad i was like a junkie i couldnt help myself but at least when i finished i didnt have some chick staring at me hoping that i loved her i could just run away and hit hurt hate myself in silence in the silent peaceful kind of destructive way that made me feel happy or at least content i could go home and stick myself with pins right away and i could feel at ease laying on my back naked sticking myself wondering if id have the guts to take one and stick it right down the tip of my penis and watch what kind of mix of blood piss and come would pour out if i whacked off over the toilet stuck with needles all over my body well anyway this was the way it was for a while i was just kicking myself in the ass and going to work and drinking god i started hitting the bottle every night id start pounding and pounding god all this shit was going on and i musta been something like twenty two i spent all of my goddamned money either drinkin or whorin god i was lucky i worked in a fuckin restaurant and as a caretaker cause i couldnt save a fucking dime man i saw myself in the fucking mirror and every fucking day id spit at it im serious id just fucking spit at it so one day i dont know why this particular day i guess i had just been spiralling down down down sometimes ya gotta hit rock bottom it was on a monday night and i didnt work on tuesday so i wanted to really do something wild but i went out and the city was dead i mean nobody was out every bar every restaurant was empty nobody so here i am ready to party and everybody was at home so anyway ive got some money in my pocket cause i got paid on thursday but id been working my ass off nonstop and didnt have a chance to spend any of it so i musta had like three hundred dollars in my pocket and for some reason i just wanted to spend it all i wanted to just fucking blow it get totally totally trashed so that in the morning when i looked in the fucking mirror id be so totally fucking disgusted that id just take my forehead and bash it right into the mirror and at least when the blood started dripping from my head id get a good fucking laugh are you getting bored okay just checking so anyway i go to this guy i know and get a gram of coke bam there goes the first hundred i go to the liquor store and buy two sixpacks of beer and a fifth of cuervo gold ya know tequilla to make myself what i call bexmexs its when you take beer preferably becks and mix it with tequilla so i buy my stuff go back to my place and just get fucking hammered i do my coke finish my fifth and my beer and think im ready so i go down to the docks where i swear to god theyve got the ugliest looking whores in the world and i decide to take the fattest ugliest one there and bring her back to my apartment i dont know what i was thinking because i usually never brought any of these women back with me i tell her ill give her a hundred bucks if shell do everything imaginable to me well this woman comes over and is just so happy that shes like creaming on herself when we get through the door were like making out and she decides from like this point on shes just going to fucking humiliate me so she just all of a sudden gets up takes off her panties tells me to lay down on the bed and just sits on my face oh my god i thought i was going to fuckin die it smelled so bad it was like a goddamned creamery down there but im so fucking high and hate myself so much that im actually into it and all of a sudden i start hearing her hoot-hooting like an owl or some shit and shes completely into it shes like wiggling her arms like a goddamned witch doctor and all of a sudden she starts peeing on me right in my face and im so fucking crazy that im just drinking it like its another fucking bexmex so then she starts going down on me and just licking everywhere around that area i hope this isnt grossing you out is it i told you it was a crazy part of my life so anyway shes just rubbing her tongue all around my balls and shes sticking her fingers up my butt and my head is just fucking spinning i dont even know where the hell i am i think im going to go unconscious it was like all of the blood in my entire body was in my head and i thought i was just going to explode like a big boom and before you know it she jumps on top of me and starts fucking me i mean shes like grabbing me bites me pulling and pushing and actually fucking me im like a rag doll with piss and shit all over my face while this ox is fucking the shit out of me like my mother or something so im like half dead but actually enjoying this because it was so completely nasty just filthy kind of nasty disgusting kind of nasty exactly like im into but anyway it starts coming im feeling it i feel that im about to come and i know the gigs up and im starting to get afraid im afraid that all this shit is just gonna rise up and drown me and kill me and im thinking that i dont wanna die but i know im gonna die and i start crying and i know im coming because i cant get away because shes too fucking big and sitting on top of me fucking the shit out of me and she wont let me go and she fucks me harder when she sees that im trying to get her off me when she sees that im crying when she sees that im afraid and she doesnt know whats going to happen and i dont know whats going to happen but im afraid because ive gone too far ive gone way too far and i wont be able to pay the bill i know that i wont i dont have the strength and i dont want to die so im fighting like really fighting and crying and shes fighting and fucking and laughing like a fucking halloween monster in the scary haunted house i saw when i was a little kid shes laughing at me while shes fucking me and pissed on my face and tried to smother suffocate strangle drown me i know im going to come i know it i know theres nothing i can do about it shes just too fucking strong shes just way too fucking strong and into all of this crazy shit and i just knew that it was going to happen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . of course i came i mean i knew it was going to happen and shes sitting on top of me trying to tug on my balls to make me come inside of her like a goddamned pump and im sitting there crying while the scales start falling from my eyes and i knew it was going to happen i knew it was going to fucking happen i start feeling the nausea fin sitting there staring at this filthy hobgoblin who stinks like a maggot filled cadaver on a hot summer day and im staring at myself smelling my face tasting her piss and i just want to die i want to kill myself there is nothing i can do to myself to make myself pay i want to kill her i tried to get up before it happened but she wouldnt let me i want to kill her she starts coming to me to kiss me and i try to get up and turn away but she tries to turn me back she just doesnt get it when she grabs me i push her with all my might but she still just doesnt get it and thinks im being fickle or funny but she gets the picture when i punch her in her face and blood starts dripping from her nose it becomes clearer when i take her clothes and toss them out the window and yell at her to get her fucking fat filthy ass out of my house before i kill her and honest to god i would have and she starts to strut out on her tippitoes like an elephant standing on hind legs finally its quiet in my room but its not quiet enough as my blood begins to bash my brain like the banging of a fucking drum im losing it im pulling my hair out of my head screaming and crying and dying i get a picture of myself a few minutes before and my tongue comes across one of her pubic hairs and i fall down and lose all of my bexmexs with my eyes bugging out and its so nasty i just fall right into it and start rubbing it across my body cause its only a small part of what i deserve im still crying i hear myself screaming and whimpering screaming and whimpering and i know needles wont be enough no little small pins wont do the trick i never eat in because i eat at the restaurant so i dont have any knives if i had a knife i wouldve i swear to god i wouldve but i do go to the bathroom and i do look into the mirror and i do bash my head against it even more than once but when i did see the blood dripping down my face i didnt get a good laugh cause it still wasnt enough but i did take a piece of the mirror and i did scrape my arms i didnt have the fucking guts to go across the veins i really wanted to but i couldnt that wouldve been too fucking easy i had not paid i still must pay i was naughty and so have to pay jumping out of the window and falling into some spires would make me pay but when i looked out of the window there was only concrete just flat plain old concrete nothing special there maybe some broken bones if i hit my head id only die that wouldnt work thered be no atonement i still had to pay i laid on the bed and buried my face under the pillow that was wet with piss and i started thinking about the roots of my problems and as i laid down i knew it was only too fucking plain so i didnt know why hadnt thought of it before it was like the answer to the entire civilization the most evil thing on earth fuck i thought there would be one and only i way to atone i got up grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and jumped back into the bed with my face underneath that same pillow it had shrunk like it was trying to hide but it couldnt hide from me even a small one is culpable i didnt want to watch and it was tough because when i held it up with my left hand and had the scissors in my right the pillow kept falling to one side of my face but once it was in place i used my left hand to hold the pillow over my eyes so i would at least be in darkness as i decided whether or not to really do it i thought i was a slave i didnt want to be a slave this thing hurts women and it always has more importantly this thing hurts me and it always will it seemed clear to me at the time it seemed so clear that if i didnt do it now i would pussy out i was about to look at it one last time to say goodbye and as i lifted my head letting the pillow fall again something in my mind said no my right hand shut and it went so easily that i didnt even have any time to fucking feel any pain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it fucking took me by surprise i didnt know whether or not i had been serious you know i shouldve known for sure i was disgusted again but now i was fucking flippin holy shit i fucking did it i didnt feel anything i was just as disgusted as before i felt what was left and felt the fucking blood on my hand running down my leg and i knew i was a real fucking asshole a special kind of asshole the type of asshole whodve been better off if i hadda said fuck the spires and just dove down into the concrete but now i started freaking out i dont know i just started getting antsy i just wanted to run i started to run out of the house but i had forgotten it on the bed i thought i should get it and bring it with me the bed was full of blood i felt like a girl on a period god i dont know how you guys do it so i just started running again but i thought i should at least put on a fucking pair of pants i jumped into a pair of blue jeans said fuck the shirt and fuck the sneakers put it in my pocket and ran out into the night i fucking ran into the night into the cold with no idea of where the fuck i was going with my dick in my pocket barefoot bare chested and no fucking brain i thought i should be heading for a hospital but i didnt know of any but i tell you all the panic and all this shit going on still didnt get rid of the nausea i was just running screaming running and running for the first time without my dick between my legs i had it in my pocket but you know it didnt belong in my pocket i was disgusted disgusted at myself for doing what i knew id be digusted doing and disgusted that i was so fucking stupid to have cut my dick off without having thought about it but at that moment i remembered that fat fucking whore stuffing the smell out of my nose with her dripping cunt and i stopped and got rid of whatever bexmexs i still had in me maybe i had done the right thing after all id never be able to fuck any of those monsters again so i took it out of my pocket and with the scream of an olympian threw it long far and i dont know where i started running again i started running around in circles like a fucking headless chicken wanting to leave it and run somewhere else or run back and find it for who the hell knows why but when i looked down at my pants and saw a big U of blood underneath my crotch i knew that id have to figure it out pretty soon i thought that the U was getting bigger and id probably be better off without it and hell i probably couldnt have found it if i wanted to so anyway i just decided to run straight ahead i had to run cause it was so fucking cold anyway ire going and i finally ask where a hospital is and the guy who i ask looks at me like ire come to steal his soul and cant fucking say a word for a second i thought i had left my dick hanging out of my pocket or something finally this old lady who for sure must have thought i was on drugs which i wasnt because i had come down from the coke a long time ago told me that a hospital was a few blocks away so i get into the fucking emergency room busting in like id been late and everyone looks at me and i kinda thought that they all relaxed cause whatever the fuck was wasnt as bad as me anyway i go over to the nurse and try to tell her what she does is to tell me to fill out a fucking sheet but im trying to tell her that i cant fill out shit cause ive fucking lost my mind and shes staring at me like shes heard this shit and i try to tell her but the words dont come out and shes staring at me like she heard this shit all before and i still cant say anything so i just do what i have to do and i know i cant get her attention so just pull my pants down and she looks and if a picture is worth a thousand words well you shoulda seen the picture on this fucking nurses face well i tell you she looked after that like she aint seen that a thousand times before so she does pull her lazy bottom heavy ass up off of that swivel chair and tells me to put my pants back on and she will get a doctor shes gone for like five minutes and im fucking bleeding like you cant believe everybody in the room is staring at me like im the fucking devil himself im trying to think how i can stop this bleeding and i see that behind the nurses station there are some rubber bands so i go into the bathroom and try to double triple and quadriple wrap them around my little fucking stump and i realize why the guy and everybody else had been staring at me like their lives were about to end because i didnt realize how much fucking blood piss and vomit was all over me i mean i mustve looked and smelled like i climbed the crack from hell i had blood all over my chest and arms and when i pulled my pants down it fucking looked like the red sea the rubber bands didnt stay i think they were sliding off cause the stump had so much blood on it so anyway the doctors came into the bathroom took me up and stitched me up well actually they did try to put it back on i dont know who the fuck they got to do it but they got some fucker to actually find it but when they tried to sew it back on it didnt catch they thought it would be alright and it worked for a while but after a few weeks it started getting hard and turned black and just fell off well you see they cut a large hole in the stump so i can actually still pee but its obviously a little harder to aim so i have to sit down on the toilet yeah i have gone on a couple of dates but its hard for me cause i feel its unfair to go out with a girl when they dont know whats up because you know i remembered it wouldve pissed me off before this happened to think id go out with a girl and all of a sudden somewhere along the line she tells me that she doesnt have a pussy idda been pissed ya know and it not like i can walk up to em and say hey you wanna go out on a date but before we do i gotta tell ya i cut my dick off so im kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place if ya know what i mean i cant try the personals come on you realize how stupid that would sound if i placed an ad shit id never want to meet anyone who answered it but i did respond one time to an ad some woman had taken out saying something like i rarely meet my type looking for extremely cool offbeat kind of guy who want to be my best friend so i was like hey shit this is exactly what i need a chick as a best friend so i leave this message on her machine saying that im not looking for anything sexual just want to get to know her and if thats fine then she should give me a call so she like called me and told me that of twelve guys who left messages i was the only one she called so i was like cool maybe this was meant to be so she tells me that shell meet me at a record store by the magazine rack and will be wearing black so when i came wouldnt you know it shes there wearing black looking about as butt ugly as the whore i fucked the other time i mean she was so ugly i couldnt even introduce myself it was just like i had to just forget about it i mean im sure that i wasnt the first or wouldnt be the last to stand this chick up and there was no way that i should make myself a martyr but when i drove back i thought about it and i knew that it was really fucked up this chick was so ugly she got stood up by a man with no dick so that was it for the personals no i have had sex since then i mean i kind of dont have too much to fuck with but i have gone back to the professionals done stuff with them where theres a will theres a way when you really need to you can al make up ways to have fun its funny though because i never did get the the same kind of feeling i just never did so at least thats one good thing that came out of it i dont know why it work out like that but it just did it was still a stupid thing to do though but what the hell like i said we all make mistakes and we all got our crosses to bear well you know i cant fucking believe that you actually stayed and listened to that whole shit god i know youve got to think im a freak or something well thats great that youre so understanding god why couldnt i have met you ten years ago you are unbelievable yeah it is getting late i figured that youd have to go soon actually i have to get ready to go to work myself got a six oclock shift well it was really nice talking to you by the way wait i dont think we ever introduced ourselves whats your name mary mary well its nice to meet you mines gary thanks alot you take care too